Philippines: Welcome to Bizaaro World!

Here's the thing...if you decide to move to the Philippines, prepare to spend a lot of time scratching your head and wondering if the whole world just lost it's damn mind. Now I'm not saying everyone does abnormal shit here, but there sure is a lot of weirdness going down. The problem is that you'll likely be in the minority when something does seem off, because it will seem perfectly normal to almost everyone else. That disconnect will wear on you after a while and you'll start to question your own perception of the world. What's normal and what's not...at this point man, I barely know.

"Really man, please get off of the car, you're gonna scratch it"

There are too many examples to mention, but here's the one I'm thinking about today. Our town had a parade a few months ago and I had our car parked in front of the office. We are on Rizal Street, so the parade is definitely rolling up our block. I hit the gym and then I took my son to McDonalds for the post training feast. Yeah, my diet is 50% crap, but in my defense, I'm really more about getting strong than anything else at this point and the more calories the better in my opinion.

Anyway, when we returned from said fine dining establishment, we found our car covered with children; standing/sitting/walking on the hood, the roof and the trunk. The parents had placed their children there to get a good view of the parade. “Really, have you lost your fucking mind?” In what bizaaro world is this acceptable behavior?

Remember when Burt said something like "right or wrong depends on where you are standing on the planet at the time"? That's one smart mofo!

In defense of my poor car, I proceeded to tell folks to get their kids off of the car and they looked at me like I just lost my damn mind...crazy. Now here's the good part. After that, we went back to the office and I told the story to our employees. One of them responded and said something like, “oh yeah I saw that...but they were only children”. There you have it...that's the point...folks just don't know any better...it really is bizaaro world, man. It's all good, it's normal. A lot of shit that is totally dysfunctional will fall into this category here. And that's just how it is...you need to learn to work with it and work around it. Because no fucks will be given here...not due to a lack of caring, but due to a completely different outlook on life.

 "Really, I don't know what to say"